Fill in the blank: I like being a grown-up because …
… I can substitute the whole days’ meals with desserts and protein bars, and no one can have a say in it. That’s what I did – all it took was a rainy day and a fierce workout to get me in the sweet mood.
Yesterday the fall came with rage – you might know the type of rain that seems to tear your insides out, leaving you just soaking and freezing. That’s far from the sweet, refreshing summer rain, but that’s how it sometimes is here in Finland. Today it even snowed in some parts of the country, luckily not here though. With this rain, you just want to stay indoors, and at least I have the munchies.
Blending berries with chia and topping it with bunch of stuff usually never fails. My favorite blend is chia, lingonberries, maca and some other powders (protein) and some stevia. Topped with coconut, sprouted buckwheat and freeze dried raspberries. Nom.
Yeah, so. The point of this all was to say that the fall is coming here and to be honest, it’s pretty shitty. BUT: all things are so much better when you can replace lunch with the pancakes in the first picture, and have something like the bottom picture for dessert. And lick the peanut butter jar empty. AND know that after the rain, eventually you can go out again to the fresh air. And if it’s not enough consolation, you can just go to Bali.
A journey of a million miles starts with a single step. The hardest step is the one out of the front door. Why worry about tomorrow when all you have is today. I need these words to keep me calm and assured that what I am doing will not be a disaster.
The leaves are falling down, the days are getting shorter, and every time I open the smelly fridge door in my temporary apartment I think: “only 6 more weeks”. Then what? I really have no idea. People keep on asking me what I will do in Bali. Often I answer “read Eat, Pray, Love“. What am I supposed to say? Those who know me know, that I am not the kind to just lie on a beach, let alone do that for months. I have no clue what I will do (except for eat loads and loads of fruit, take walks in the rice fields, do yoga, and try my very best to meditate), but I just have to trust that I will figure it out. If I wasn’t there, I would be contemplating what to do here, when it’s dark and cold and all I really want to do is sleep for 4 months.
One of my friends asked me if I am going to escape the winter or to find myself. I am definitely escaping the winter. I am also trying to find myself, or to figure out my place in this whole picture that is (my) life. I hope and am sure that I will find much more than just myself, but it’s frustrating not to know what to find. Is it possible to find something if you don’t know what you are looking for? Maybe it gives room for finding much more. No expectations leave room for surprises. Hopefully pleasant.
Friends – I am still alive! Almost a year without writing here, since I have been (pretty inactively) writing elsewhere. But now it’s time to rise from my ashes and face new adventures! I have booked flights to my next destination, so I feel like I have something to share again. Not that life in Helsinki has been boring, no way! So much has happened during the previous 10 months, I am actually leaving this city with warm thoughts and feeling at home. Though I don’t have a home. So my home IS where my heart is, ha!
I have gotten rid of most of my material possessions; all I have left now is a lamp, Vitamix, coffee grinder and aeropress. Minimalism rules! I moved to my last temporary apartment last weekend, and I did it with a bike. 5 rounds back and forth, that’s all.
This summer has been weird, awesome, fast and hot, filled with laughter, baking, coffee and friends, just to name a few. I enjoyed a brief holiday at the cottage (!!), eating 15kg of strawberries, and went to Tallinn for lunch.
What else…lots of great things happened, I think I also learnt something, not yet quite sure what. Yesterday I learned that women can’t dunk in basketball. Go figure.
Oh, Helsinki. I will miss you (your people, at least!) during my Asian explorations. But no worries, I will come back.